Well, I don't know if you will noticing this site but if you do. when you are reading this, everything will come to an end as you wished or maybe your all along hope.
Day 1(1st may) - You stopped contacting me for real. I felt terrible inside, so much that i could only use my tears to subside my pain a little each time. You might not know but you really mean alot to me. All I wanna say is that I miss you. I just browse through your facebook photos and realize pictures of us in your profile picture is gone. Am I so less inferior or did the patience in you have went off? Do you hate me so much? I wondered. I remembered you promise to bring me along to watch your soccer match during june if there's one. But I doubt so now.
Day 2(2nd may)- It kills me inside to see you to talk to other girls but not me. Honestly speaking, till now I don't know what's the reason behind my death sentence and that I deserve sucha treatment from you. Do you know kenji just asked me to be his girlfriend again, I had so much urge to accept just provoke you but. I have to be true to myself and be fair to him. I'm writing all my hearts out now but you are enjoying yourself at pool, not knowing your reason has been revealed . Silly me, I'm still tearing blaming myself for falling so hard. Yes, I know about her, jolene. I respect your decision for choosing her instead of me but at least tell me the truth? I swear i sounded so pathetic that night for the fucking truth. My first time fyi porkbee. Don't tell me you are doing this because you want me to focus on my studies? I can still text with other friends of mine without affecting my piorities. 8 months? 5 months? Maybe I will return back to you? perhaps it's for her, not me. Reflect back, I treated you with respect but you feed me with betrayal. I know we have no status but still I'm very disappointed with you. Yes, thank you for letting me know indirectly that I'm never good enough, whatever i've done is never enough. However, I know at least I tried and did more than what a girlfriend should do without any status. People surrounding us clearly know this. You. this china doll. this porkbee. I am afraid you have not enough cash, I rush down just to transfer you money and make sure you will be home safely. Your earpiece got bite off, i gave you mine. You need someone to talk and knock some sense to you, I've tried. You cried for nightmare, I tried to cheer you up. I called you every recess of mine just to make sure you are in school and fulfill your wish of changing for the better. You said you will change because of me. yes you changed. but twice and back to square one without me. To be honest, I have been secretly recording every moments we shared together and wanting to do up a scrap book with those and surprise you. Every time we quarrelled, I talk to my friends about it and some told me alex is not really a good guy. I always retorted claiming that you are, because my hopes in you have not dashed. To think back now, your actions to me are just a put-up show? or you do that to every girl you had a minor crush on. For you, I gave up sean and kenji. YOU? you fall for her. Don't tell me you are not good enough, i should be the one saying this right now. Now I understand why juvenia have to be so over sensitive because she's afraid of what it had landed on me, you actually fall for someone else, hiding from me. From where we knew each another at avatar to keith's chalet to OCH to a phone call till the next morning to bedok 85 to movie to karen's birthday chalet to NEX mall to the first time you fetch me from school till today. I have been making the effort to meet you despite having mid year examinations in 3 days time . But each time you treat it lightly, don't take it to heart. you know how disappointed to see this?
The day when the tiff had started. I felt so pathetic, I beg you for the reason like a dog but now everything is very clear in front of me. I cried for 4 hours that night, I felt like skipping my papers which will start in a few hours time . where were you? sleeping. Next day, I cried out of the sudden thinking that everything was my fault. Do you know all these? Today, the news was finally broke out to me, you fall for someone else few weeks ago? Yes, I cried again. Thanks for putting me in through such torture. I remembered clearly telling you that I hate betrayers and the bad past I've been through. Now, i will say. You are just like any other guy who hurt me and left me in the darkness all alone. This is your choice.
Now, your fatass will no longer be by your side. Do know what is right, what is wrong. Don't return back to your old road. Be determined.
Lastly, I don't know if my heart will allow me to talk you again.
Take care.
